Near the beginning, the man and the woman ate of the apple and thought that it was good. Immediately following this event, they both felt a draft, looked down, realized they were naked and promptly covered themselves with fig leafs. Perhaps if we knew more about why they were ashamed of their nudity, we would understand a great deal more about our own feelings toward nudity and perhaps know the answer to age-old mysteries like whether or not size matters.

Unfortunately for our first ancestors, the shame that accompanies nudity was far from the greatest of their problems. As creatures who were made not to die, they were shocked to be confronted with the concept of mortality and cowered in fear at the thought that at any point in history, the world would continue to spin and life would move on long after taking their last breath. This blow was minimized only slightly by the fact that our first ancestors lived nearly 1,000 years.

Subsequent ancestors have had shorter lives, thus accounting for our mere fraction of a century in modern times. However, it was generally regarded by all beings-- both human and divine-- that death was a bummer. To fix this, the Creator made possible a method of redemption that would make possible an afterlife which would be timeless and unending. The result of the toil and suffering of the Creator's son on a Roman cross paved the way for this never-ending paradise we now refer to so casually as "eternal life."